Friday, May 28, 2010

CHERISH

This is a picture of my little neice, Cherish. She will be a year old on the 17th of the next month. Quite obviously I am crazy about her.. :)
She already loves cell phones and cars as you can see. A little beat is enough music for her to dance! Somehow she can operate the cell phone to get it to play her favorite song and she loves chicken....... just like me!! I am one proud maasi !!!
I cant wait to meet her on her 1st birthday

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

THE ELEPHANTS

How many huge elephants did Lucknow have a few years back? I am talking about the ones in stone.
Haathi Park had one, kids loved to get inside the stomach of the elephant and crawl out at the top. The Haathi Park… may be you have been there too. I don’t know if people still go there and if it still has the elephant.
I loved to go to the Haathi Park when I was little, the elephant being my favorite animal.
Seems like there’s somebody who likes elephants so much more than me!!
The entire city has elephants carved all over now! I would have been jumping in excitement had not the red sandstone particles entered my eye as I was gazing at the many elephant heads, besides it was too hot for me to enjoy looking at the statues of my favorite animal, thanks to the ‘now’ tree-less area. But obviously the trees had to be cut down brutally and all of them too so that there was enough space for the elephants to be installed. So now there is no cool breeze to feel across your face while driving your bike, there is no lush greenery to admire, there is no ground for ‘melas’ to happen and there is very little oxygen left too, but let us not forget that there are so many elephant statues to look at in awe, there are other statues to admire too, there is red sandstone in the air for you to inhale as much as you want and there are rows and rows of beautiful white and blue lights to replace the lush greenery and cool breeze at night. Oh and I forgot to mention the machinery that now adorns the roads as a permanent prop and make such a pretty sight and of course their loud music for the passersby as an added advantage!


Friday, May 21, 2010

THE BUS RIDE

The college bus takes us to our examination centre. It is a one hour journey that makes my head spin and I would rather walk the distance. To make things worse, the bumpy ride topples the stomach upside down. Today we had the opportunity to experience the worst bus ride ever, where every little turn and hole in the road was a ghoulish nightmare. The driver was probably too drunk to slow down where necessary. He merrily took us on a roller coaster ride while I was repeating prayers in order to reach the hostel alive.
He merely laughed as us poor frightened souls shouted at him to slow down the bus..the shouts then got transformed into louder shouts. Finally we pleaded with him to slow down as everybody got thrown high into the air as the bus flew over a rocky and bumpy area and we crash landed. The driver chose to ignore. We concluded unanimously that he had just found out that his wife was cheating on him and so chose to forgive him as he brought the bus to a sudden halt.

Friday, May 14, 2010

AVOID

Examz are round the corner..

I'm busy not preparing but trying to avoid the unavoidable.. miles away from college I am happily gourging and dozing. When somebody mentions books, which they do once in a while.. I turn to them lazily and look at them with such indifference they wonder why they even cared to mention. I avoid chatting with friends who sickeningly mention 'books' and 'exams' and 'studies' and talk gibberish like "how much have you studied" and "OMG how will we ever finish that subject" and "what book are you studying from" eeeeeehhhhh!!!!

But then yes, I went to buy myself a few pens for the D day! Love to buy stuff even if its pens for exams. Unfortunately the shopkeeper chose to give me an extensive and unending lecture on how one pen is better than the other and why I should purchase the expensive one for exams exclusively. I tried to explain that this was not my class 10 boards that I was purchasing pens for, however he chose not to understand.. until I couldn't take in any more and loudly proclaimed that I wasn't as little a girl as I may have appeared to him who would need such a lecture on "how to purchase the best pen for exams".
Then he understood and carefully changed the topic to "what is the latest and best pen available". huhh!
I rushed out of the shop.


So here I am, at home, eating, watching TV, chatting, strolling around, doing some tree watching, talking to my dog.. avoiding the unavoidable.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A NOTE

Dedicated to all my friends who always appreciate my articles and encourage me..
Thankyou friends
:)
Heres a little something for all of you

I have a little garden with pretty colorful flowers
Flowers for all seasons, flowers for all hours
Some violet, some a vibrant red, while some a pretty blue
All of them unique, some old and some new
These flowers in my garden, that I so much adore
Are one each for all my friends and there are lots more
To let them know I love them and I'll always be there
Through thick and thin, all moments together we shall share

Saturday, May 8, 2010

LAST FEW DAYS

Life is strange.. so strange that sometimes you spend four years hating a particular place and trying to convince yourself that the time would fly by all too soon and when it actually does you end up feeling sad ..perhaps a bit too sad at the very thought of not staying at that place any more.

Today while writing my last mid-sem examination, I had to pause for as long as an hour to look around and take in of all that would be my very last sessional at this institute that I always thought I so hated.
What are these strange feelings? Something beyond my understanding. All I know is that whatever I felt for this college for the past four years was perhaps not quite as real as I believed it to be.

I am actually going to miss being at this college.
I am going to miss bunking classes.
I am going to miss sleeping till noon and missing all the important lectures.
I'll miss copying all those hideous tutorials and assignments.
I'll miss the joy of an unexpected free lecture and the good news of the absence of a teacher.
I am going to miss the sudden announcement of a holiday the next day.
I am going to miss the Monday outings.
I am going to miss the labs where we did nothing but talk.
I am going to miss the 10 minute tea break we all so eagerly looked forward to.
I am going to miss the arguments with my friends.
I am going to miss eating with my friends from the same plate.....

Its hard to believe I'll miss all this and more, still harder to actually leave.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

REGRETFULLY MINE

I keep telling myself that I should not regret my decisions. Unfortunately, the implementation part is a little harder. Not a day has gone by without me having regretted something or the other ever since I can remember. It’s better to make a list of decisions that were regretfully mine and read through it once a day than to actually remember them all.

The thing I regret most of all is having stranded my best friend. We had been together since nursery (inseparable) until I finally stopped talking to her in class V, too self absorbed and too proud to notice her sadness. Most terrible thing I ever did, a regret I plan to take down to coffin with me. Something I remind myself everyday, something I will never repeat. By the time I realized my mistake, she had realized I wasn’t actually a very dependable friend.

Another most regrettable thing ever is the time I wasted studying till high school. Just thinking of all those years when I could have been enjoying and having fun instead of mugging up books makes me sick. Can’t relate my current self to that person I once was.
I can’t believe it was me studying from noon till dawn!! Look at me now!
I am pretty sure I could have gotten the same marks even if I had studied a little less. Would have had such a better childhood to remember!!!!

And then of course my very unfortunate fall into that muddy pool as I tried to jump across to the other end, despite constant warning from my nana ji. The pathetic sight that I made after that, made my cousins go hysterical for days. I got the idea from my long legged cousins, who could easily cross it.

I can never forget the nightmare of having gone crazy about that guy from coaching in 11th. Actually this regret should have been placed earlier somewhere if I was ordering my regrets in decreasing degree. So far I have been following chronological order. Thankfully I had enough brains to overcome my heart. I wish I had not made the pathetic fool realize I actually liked him.

I also regret not having talked to my grandfather about so many things. Wish I could travel back in time to talk to him once more.

There is so much more that is regretfully mine, but the above are reasons enough for me to feel depressed, so I had better discontinue writing.
To end on a more positive note, my life is not all about regrets. I have had some wonderful moments too. Perhaps I’ll write about them too.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

EVENING WALKS

These days I usually do not go out of the hostel in the evenings for walks like the others, one reason may be that there is no one to go out with. There was a time I used to spend at least 2 hours outside…i.e. during the earlier phase of my hostel life (later 1st sem days). However, things have changed now. For instance the size of our friend circle has shrunk from a 10 to a modest 2.

Things change, people change, our perceptions change. Change is inevitable. Those were the good ole days, when our entire group of 10 would get ready to take a stroll in the campus. It was funny actually, we had to try not to walk side by side or it gave the impression of a long horizontal line moving forward with time. Needless to say, it was reason enough for the permanent members of the strolling committee (seniors and boys of our batch) to have a good laugh. Soon, we decided to apply our theoretical knowledge under the guidance of Divide and Rule and the group of 10 was replaced by smaller groups of 4-5 which, with time got further divided into groups of 2!

Then there came that phase of sudden realization, when the groups of 2 tried to merge with other groups of 2, but their attempts at concatenating the little groups to form the extinct group of 10, were marred by the differences that had grown to a point from which the graph never falls down but continues to rise upwards despite all efforts. During this particular phase, everybody pretends to be friends with everybody, but every one has their own reason for not liking the other person. Such feelings are sidelined when the sudden wave of unexpected conditions such as birthday treats and farewells, floods the fertile regions of the brain and heart capable of producing feelings and one has to start from scratch… trying to recollect all the reasons one had so painstakingly collected not to like the other person. Since the process takes some time to complete, everybody tries to be good to everybody else for a change (for a short while). This phase, too, is overcome with time and everything goes back to normal (the rising upward graph).

Every once in a while, the little groups meet for serious discussions as to why the group got divided and why the old familiar horizontal line that once moved forward with time in the evenings has now become a rare sight. But they end up discussing who wore what, who did what, who went out with who, who was seen with who, who got ditched and by whom, who has grown fatter, thinner, uglier etc, who has the best dress, who bought the whatever at the least price … until the actual reason for the meeting is lost and everybody returns to their little groups, feeling intellectual and updated.

At some point of time, it seems that although the group of 10 is now a rare sight and the horizontal line has been replaced by a series of ‘dash’ and despite the differences that can never be dissolved, everybody will be there for everybody in the group that was once a complete 10, whenever the need would arise. The graph may continue to rise upwards and the group may go on being divided further and the differences may increase but some tiny little spot of memory inside still blinks to remind that everybody is a friend of everybody in that once group of 10 and everybody will be there for everybody in the best and the worst of times. People may have changed with time and groups may have shrunk but deep within the friendship remains that not the worst of floods can wipe away.

TEARS

sometimes i cry when i'm all alone
sometimes i cry because i'm sad
sometimes i cry even when i'm smiling
sometimes when i'm feeling mad
sometimes i cry because i've laughed a lot
or because there are things i have to hide
sometimes i cry because i've lost all
and i try to hide tears with a smile

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