When In Love

I don’t hate you

I never did and never will
I just didn’t know it then
when I told you and still

I think of you
Yes, its true
Its hard I know
For both me and you

What can be done
Some things are not meant to be
You will always be the one
The only one for me

Cause love lasts longer
Than we can ever realize
We feel weak but get stronger
As foolishly we grow wise

'sick'ening

When you are sick and have to spend the entire day at home in bed, time stands still. All the free time makes you crazy. There are not enough shows on the TV and the books are not interesting enough either. The food isn’t good enough to eat and nobody has the time to talk to you. Oh I hate it!

All I can think of is how much work would be pending on my desk when I return to office. Somehow, I like to believe that I am one of those people who are very strong when it comes to getting sick. I avoid medicines for as long as possible and I like to stay outdoors and enjoy in both sickness and health. This is hard for me. I have been glued to the bed for the past 30 hours and life has been miserable.

I would give anything to get out of the house right now. The yucky taste of sickening fever is creeping though my throat down into my stomach. Why did I have to get sick?

I had freezing vanilla ice-cream and hot chocolate walnut pudding at the same time. The delicious flavors that were casting awesome magic spells on my taste buds were doing me some real harm at the same time. Also, getting soaked in the rain had its own side effects too.

I hate you, fever and sickness….. :[





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The Fools

One thousand things unsaid

Some letters remain unread

Those people think we are fools

They think the wise man rules

How silly can they be

That say but cannot see

What happens isn’t true

To foolishness they are new

Such fools as you and me

That know wise men aren’t free

Cause wisdom to them was sold

To rich men as they told

Who know what they can buy

Is a truth they know is a lie

That the ruler never was wise

Was always known to the fool’s eyes

The letters remain unread

A thousand things unsaid

The wise speak day and night

The fools laugh at the sight

BEING HAPPY

Every one of us is in search of happiness. We seek it in every little thing we do. We may wake up late or early depending on whatever makes us happy. We may study or not, play outside or sit at home with a book, eat or diet and so on and so forth.

Unfortunately, not all our efforts culminate at happiness. I feel that happiness depends on our attitude. If you want to be happy then you will be, no matter what the circumstance.

I know that not all of us are capable of it. Well, I am not for sure. I know that I am short tempered and I ruin my chances at remaining happy almost always. However, I do realize that at some exceptional moments, I have succeeded in maintaining my calm despite nerve wracking circumstances. I want to try and remain happy or at least normal for some longer period of time. I wish I can be that person always.

Who wants a frown when there is a possibility of smile?

There are these few people around us who never seem to get angry at all, they are always laughing, having fun and enjoying life. I like to be around such people. It gives me a chance to try to become more like them. Maybe it is true that we need to give vent to anger rather than keep it within us. Wouldn’t it be better to try not to develop that anger, thus, eliminating the ‘venting’?

I guess I should stop blaming everyone around me when things go wrong. Accepting reality and dealing with it should do the trick. I need to be happy and content with what I have; yet, I should never lose hope for attaining better things in life. I should laugh more and make others cry less. I should remain in the vicinity of positive energy for as long as possible. I should forgive more, thank more, admire more and crib and complain less. I know it is easier said than done. But, this time I don't want to be sad when I could have been happy.

:)

Old Diaries and Photographs

I remember how I used to stay inside the hostel all day long avoiding classes and classmates. I would sleep for hours and sometimes emerge out of the room only for lunch and dinner. Juniors did not know any senior called Shobhita!  Batch mates thought I was their junior. I wish I had spent a little more time outdoors. And its not just about 4 years at college, it’s about ‘always’.

Whenever I have had friends around me, I have avoided them. Today, suddenly I feel so alone. I miss friends. So much that I had to look for my old diaries and read every page to avoid loneliness. I went through old photographs too.

Life leads us to such moments in life where all we have is regret. No amount of consolation is enough.

The worst thing is that there is nothing I can do to change the past.

All we can do with time is to use it judiciously. There is no reverse gear in real life.

I miss all my friends.

THE CHANGE

Everything changes with time. And we are too busy to notice the gradual change.

However, when we do get time to look up from our busy lives, we realize that we are in a completely different place with strangers all around. Strangers who were friends or people we knew well at one point of time. We are forced to strain our memory and try to think of the reason behind it all.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I distinctly remember this happening to me. I have always loved my friends and I know that they are the best friends any one could ever have. I believed that we were inseparable. I had never ever imagined that things could ever go wrong with us. I guess I was wrong. I got so busy with so many other things that I don’t even know when exactly the rift began. And it was too late by the time I did.

This post is dedicated to my oldest and bestest friends.

I know that things will never be the same for our group. However, I will always cherish our friendship that made the school worth attending, life worth living and so many other things worth doing!

Beyond Living Room Conversations

On my way back from office, I saw social activists holding candles and protesting peacefully against corruption..

It is moments such as these, that make me think in a completely different direction. We get super excited about a cricket match. Spend an entire day glued to the TV set and burn crackers with joy at India's victory. The entire nation unites for a game and celebrates as the Indian team brings home the World Cup and we return to our normal routines. Don't get me wrong.. I was one of the revelers too. The question is whether that same unity will be available now when it is actually required. Our support for a noble cause sparks in a conversation, where we express our strong opinions and the sparks die off as soon as the conversation is over. How many of us will  actually go out there and do what we preach and strongly approve of? Hopefully, this protest will unite India like never before and the sparks will last beyond conversations, thus putting an end to corruption.

IN TURN

Let me sketch my thoughts on the sand
Watch as the waves destroy

Let me close my eyes for a while

Hear the best moments pass by

Let me know what it is to be dead

To enjoy being alive

Let me justify my existence

By doing something worthwhile

Let me find the difference

My life is supposed to make

Let me be a coward

Prepare for risks I need to take

Let me do things my way

Let me fail repeatedly and learn

Let me watch success go by

I will know it all, in turn

THE PRICE TAG

I have a job now. I am in Lucknow, my hometown. I don't have to worry about cooking anymore! My parents are happy, they couldn't have been happier. This is what they had always wanted.
This  life is so different from what I expected. What I had expected has already occurred and ended.

I lived my dream for five months. I was away from home. I had fun. I was cooking for myself. I was  happily worried about lots of things. I was living life my way and I loved it. Don't get me wrong. I like this job too. I like living with my parents. I am glad I don't have to cook. 

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had continued to live my dream. Why did I give up all that? Why did I choose to return? Why??? I wish I knew why. 

I'm lying, I know why. Its just too hard to accept. I gave it all up for my family. I had everything I wanted minus my family. It was the hardest decision I ever made. Too bad, everything comes with a price tag attached. If you have everything you always wanted and never had to give up anything in exchange for anything, then I envy you with all my heart. I didn't want to barter but I fell short of choices. In fact, I had none. I had to give up my dream for something I always had. Its so amazingly confusing. I like my decision but I hate the fact that I had to give up my dream in exchange.

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." Sir Winston Churchill 

All the best decisions come with an enormous amount of sadness and with a promise of happiness in the end. I am not as happy as I would have liked to be, but then, this is not the end.  

SUGAR

Hi friends,

SUGAR is a blog I have recently created. I have posted pics of a few of the cards Iv made in it.
http://sugarcubeshoneybee.blogspot.com/

:)